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The Truth About Sex

Fact: You Need a Model for Your Sexuality as a Man

So, what is your model for male sexuality? Who is your role model for a sexually healthy man? How can you think positively about the multiple dimensions of your masculinity? How can you create your standard for healthy sexuality? Your model defines what—for you—is sexual health. It includes your assumptions about what is good sex and what causes sexual problems. This framework determines your understanding of the nature and purposes of sex, your attitude toward your body and your partner’s body, your feelings, the value of fantasies, sexual growth and maturity, your expectations about sex, your relationship expectations, what a sexual dysfunction is, your attitudes toward friendships with men and women, your philosophy of life, the relationship between spirituality and sex, and your definition of sexual satisfaction.

Your sexual model will have a valence; sex is either fundamentally positive or negative—sex is good or sex is bad. Your model needs to focus on you as an individual and on your sexual relationship. Focus your model on accurate knowledge, feelings (satisfaction), and behavior (sexual function). You want to avoid being simplistic or one-dimensional. Ensure that your model of sexuality is inclusive, multidimensional, and well integrated with your body and mind. As much as we all wish important things in life could be simple, the fact is that life is complex, and so is sexuality. Canadian health care mall pharmacy

Exercise: Creating Your Model of Male Sexual Health

Consider the following questions about your thoughts, beliefs, and values about male sexuality:

  • Do you think that you can be in poor physical condition and still have a good quality sex life?
  • How do you understand your body to be “programmed”? What is it sexually designed to do?
  • For you, what are the most important purposes for sex?
  • If you feel that you are ugly or have a small penis, can you find sexual satisfaction?
  • What do you think is the relationship between your physical and sexual health?
  • Could you be happy as a celibate man? What are your specific sexual needs?
  • What is the interaction between your sexual thoughts, feelings, and actions?
  • Do you think sex is the one area of your life where you should be free and not need to regulate feelings or behavior?
  • Is your sexuality your own, or is sex meant to be shared with a loving partner?
  • Do you believe that sex is serious or playful?
  • Where does your sex drive come from? Body? Emotions? Relationship? Do you think playfulness during sex is valuable for your relationship? Can you sexually disappoint your partner and still have satisfying sex and feel good about yourself?
  • How important is a good sex life to an intimate, long-term relationship?
  • Do you think sex should rely more on physical desire than emotional closeness?
  • How much do you value intimacy? How much eroticism? Can these be integrated into your relationship? Viagra online Canadian pharmacy

Reflection: There are no simple responses, no correct or incorrect responses to these considerations. Ask yourself:

  • What thoughts stand out as you reflect on these questions?
  • What do you learn about yourself?
  • Your values?
  • Your model of male sexual health?

POSTED ON June 19, 2014,